ToyBlog Week 1: Duke

July 4, 2008 on 4:08 pm | In ToyBlog | No Comments

Greetings, citizen. Codename Duke here, of America’s premiere fighting force, G.I. Joe!

The non-fighting Americans behind ToyFare Magazine asked me to do a guest-blog to commemorate the end of the first week of their new FarePlay blog. Frankly, I find it disrespectful. Here I am, a Real American Hero ™, and that’s what they’re asking me to commemorate? I think they’re forgetting about something very important that we’re celebrating today. Something that defined who we are as a people and changed the course of history for the entire world.

I’m speaking, of course, of Independence Day.

Who would believe that it’s been 12 years since Independence Day first graced our screens and changed the way we thought about America, aliens and Will Smith forever? I know that, on a personal level, my life was forever changed by Independence Day. Before that I was just going through the motions: Cobra hatches a plot, we foil Cobra plot, rinse, repeat. Week after week after week.

But Independence Day gave me something to fight for! Now when I’m piloting a jet or driving a tank over Cobra troops, I pretend it’s evil alien forces I’m destroying, and only I can stop them from blowing the hell out of our national landmarks and monuments. Let me tell you – what a rush.

“ID4,” that’s what they called it, but of course it was a misnomer. To my eternal regret, there’s only one Independence Day film. Maybe, as much as it pains me, it’s for the best. Independence Day is like a snowflake – beautiful, unique, here one minute and gone the next. Only it’s like a snowflake I can relive every day and twice on Saturdays) thanks to the magic of DVD!

Tonight I’ll be attending a fireworks display to commemorate the scene where, their shields lowered thanks to a computer virus and the efforts of Mr. Smith and Mr. Goldblum, the alien ships explode in a flurry of fireworks. As a decent, God-and-alien-fearing American, I hope you’ll join me in thie celebration. It’s your patriotic duty.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. (The other half involves computer viruses.)

Duke is a toy, and one of the many stars of Twisted ToyFare Theatre. Look for a new guest-blog every week from a TTT star.

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