Rejected Big Shots: Week 2!

August 20, 2008 on 3:39 pm | In Big Shots |

Justin here! Now that Big Shots are back in the magazine, I’m going to be posting a new “new” Big Shot photo every week and running down some of the rejected (but still funny) captions our writers cooked up for them. Here’s this week’s:

Hoover (Army Men, Playing Mantis) and the Zanti Ant (Outer Limits, Sideshow Collectibles)

HOOVER: Nope, still no trace of the Sarge. What could have happened to him?
ANT: Beats me!
ANT 2: Um, could you put that down and come over here for a second? I have to ask your torso a question.

HOOVER: I dunno, maybe Sarge had a point. Maybe I AM crazy. What do you think?
ANT: Listen, Hoover, even if the Sarge COULD see and hear me too, would God have wanted you to kill him any less?
HOOVER 2: Aw, you’re right. Anyway, here’s where I buried his skull.

ANT: …and that hack Roddenberry RUINED “City on the Edge of Forever” completely!
HOOVER: Mr. Ellison, why did you even BOTHER getting a World of Warcraft subscription?

HOOVER: So let me get this straight. Your father…
ANT: …Banged uglies with a Spider-broad. What is it you’re not understanding here?

HOOVER: *Sigh* OK, I’ll humor you. “What has six appendages and feeds its larvae through trophallaxis, or regurgitation.”
ANT (BIG TEXT): THIS GUYYY!