Twisted ToyFare Theatre: Behind the Scenes Week 8

Hey folks, TJ here. The ‘Rambo Connection’ strip will always hold a special place in my heart because it’s the first one I had a real hand in creating. The Spidey/Nova strip was pretty much in the can by the time I came on board and I’m a huge fan of these crazy, ultra-manly movies that we reference and mock. Originally, the strip was going to be about how the current crop of action movie stars are wussy, which I don’t necessarily agree with, but in the middle of a very long meeting with former Editor Zach Oat and former Price Guide Editor Jon G. the idea to make the classic 80s stars a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen kind of team. It went on from there and kept growing as you can see by the fact that this is the third part (wouldn’t it be great to see the whole strip as a comic book?).

And one heck of a finale it is as the Manly Men of Action face off against the evil Segal with the help of surviving old school MMA. I can’t help but hope that somehow this gets made into a real movie. My personal favorite joke in the strip came from Justin and it’s how the MMA call on their predecessors (originally it was going to be just Chuck Norris and they would summon him like Captain Planet). Good stuff. Okay, here are Jon’s storyboards:

Justin here now. I just wanted to post a little additional comment on the joke that TJ mentioned about the original Manly Men, because it was one of the few times I’ve been able to use something I learned in college in my professional life (aside from grammar and punctuation rules, of course).

In my screenwriting class they taught us about Chekhov’s gun. “Wait a minute,” you’re saying, “Didn’t Chekhov have a phaser, not a gun?” Wrong Chekhov. Anton Chekhov was a Russian playwright who famously said that if there’s a gun hanging on the wall in Act 1, it had better go off by the end of Act 3.

So when we were sitting around trying to figure out the end of Act 3 of our own “play” here, I thought back to our Act 1, which I wasn’t as involved in planning. If you recall the first chapter of “The Rambo Connection,” we spend about four panels introducing previous incarnations of the Manly Men of Action, but there was never any intention to do anything with them. But then I started thinking, that’s a lot of guns hanging on the wall…literally! If we spent that much time setting them up earlier in the story, it had better pay off at the end.

So there you go…I’ve now explained TJ’s favorite joke to death so it’s no longer funny. You’re welcome, TJ!

Studying the Classics: A DC Universe Classics Wave 4 and 5 Review

Our pals over at Mattel sent us a package of DC Universe Classics figures earlier this week and now that we’ve finally stopped playing with them, it’s time for a toy review. Wave 4 includes Wonder Woman, Artemis as Wonder Woman (a variant), Batman Beyond, Ares, Cyborg (a variant with sonic arms), Captain Atom, Gold and Red Captain Atom and a Despero build-a-figures. Wave 5, which is exclusive to Wal-Mart boasts figures of Black Lightning, Eradicator, Riddler, The Atom (Ray Palmer version), a Metallo build-a-figure and Amazo (which actually wasn’t in the box). All the figures were sculpted by the Four Horsemen.

Wave 4

WONDER WOMAN

Wonder Woman’s one of those difficult characters to create a visual for. She’s supposed to be an ambassador of peace descended from Greek gods but also an apt and powerful warrior and I think that the Horsemen did a great job with this figure. She’s not overly bulky like some female figures can be, but she’s also well articulated and, most importantly, doesn’t feel like you’re going to break it if you actually play with the figure. She comes with a star=spangled shield and a battle axe that resembles her “WW” eagle symbol. Good stuff. But the real bonus for me is the variant figure of Artemis, the one time Wonder Woman replacement, dressed in the Wonder Woman gear. I actually started reading Wonder Woman when Artemis took over, so I was pretty excited when I saw that she’d be the variant (I would have also accepted the bicycle-shorts wearing post-WW Diana Prince). This isn’t just a different head sculpt though, as they Horsemen gave Artemis the sandels of Hermes so she can fly, switched her lasso to her left side and gave her a quiver of arrows on her right. She also comes with an arrow-loaded bow. Well done gents!

ARES

Speaking of Greeks, Mattel gives us Ares to combat those pesky Wonder Women. The god of war here looks like he stepped right out of either The Odyssey or a wicked game of Dungeons and Dragons, all the more impressive when you realize he’s actually wearing a dress. But a badass dress. You can’t look long at Ares without seeing a skull or some other vision of death. He comes with a sword and battle axe that look like they may have come from a He-Man line, but I’m not quite sure. I really appreciate the heft of this figure. It really feels like he could do some damage, offering up a good adversary for the rest of these heroes. My one gripe is that his shoulder pads and dress greatly restrict how much you can move his arms and legs, but then again, I’m not really sure how you’d get around that.

BATMAN BEYOND

I remember when Batman Beyond came out I was pretty skeptical of how cool this cartoon would be compared to the completely rad-tacular Batman The Animated Series. Well, it turned out to be a pretty great toon in its own right so I’m all in favor of a figure based on the Batman of the future. The figure is just as articulated and flexible as other Bat-figs like Nightwing and Robin which adds a great continuity to the ever-growing Bat-family. He even comes with a futuristic batarang. Overall the figure looks pretty faithful to the cartoon, though unlike the above image, the one we got in the office is a little shiny. I do have a bit of a problem with the head though. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I think I just figured it out. I knew that the head didn’t seem right, almost like it wasn’t a mask, but an actual face painted black and here’s why: the show the teeth through the mouth whole, whereas in the cartoon you couldn’t see through, it was just white. Justin had no problem with this, but I figured I’d mention. It definitely wouldn’t stop me from buying the figure though. In fact, I’d probably just dab a little White Out in there and never think about it again.

CYBORG

For a half human half cyborg, Vic Stone here sure looks good. Opting for his classic, original look, the Horsemen really outdid themselves recreating Cyborg’s most famous look, right down to the utility belt and thigh straps. We didn’t get the Kay Bee sonic hand variant, but no worries here as we got what looks like a clamp and a giant taser. But beware, only his right hand pops off to accommodate the additions. I did eventually pop the other arm off to no detriment, but it serves no purpose. I know I’m not alone in hoping the Horsemen get a chance to create the other Wolfman and Perez-era Titans.

CAPTAIN ATOM

Cap was a pretty big part of my youthful comic book-buying past as I was a regular reader of Armageddon 2001, Justice League and later Extreme Justice (what can I say? I was a kid). I’m not quite sure if I like what they did to him in Countdown, but I’m sure that can be easily retconned out. Anyway, oh Captain MY captain here is available in both his classic (though not original) silver, red and blue version (though curiously lacking the gauntlets and boots he sported in Extreme Justice, hmm) and the red and gold version that Alex Ross created for Kingdom Come based on the original design that went on to be featured in the DC/Wildstorm crossover Captain Atom: Armageddon. Neither figure comes with any accessories, but they both have pretty cool hair.

DESPERO

One of the Justice League’s greatest villains (and a personal favorite of mine) Despero has been a part of the JLA’s history for decades and now you can use him to beat up on your favorite heroes (or have him fight alongside him as the L-Ron possessed Despero from Justice League Task Force). Despero here isn’t quite as big as Solomon Grundy and definitely not as big as Metallo, but he is larger than your average DCUC figure. He comes with a hand gun in a holster and a big honkin gun you might recognize if you were lucky enough to snag the SDCC exclusive Lobo figure (the sword in the original PR photo above does not come with the actual product). As build-a-figures go, he’s not necessarily the biggest, but they did a great job with the belt/holster and the shoulder pad/neck guard thing and once you have the figure all together it doesn’t feel fragile like some build-a-figures, it feels like it was built just like all the others.

Wave 5 (Wal-Mart Exclusive)
Exclusive waves tend to have more obscure characters and come with fewer accessories. You’ll notice that most of the bodies used for these figures are either the same, basic body or resemble an earlier figure. But the same level of quality, painting and articulation is always there. Plus the build-a-figure is sick!

THE ATOM

Ray Palmer disappeared for a while, but now he’s back in the comics AND in toy form. The Atom fits in with the other agile heroes of his ilk with plenty of articulation and play possibilities. He lacks the sometimes trademark Atom shrinking belt, which I would have preferred, but, hey, he didn’t always sport it, so it’s not an oversight or anything, just my personal opinion.

BLACK LIGHTNING

Here we have the most current version of Black Lightning as he appears in Justice League of America. And it’s about time right? Black Lightning is one of those characters that has kicked around the DCU for years, even getting shafted and replaced with Black Vulcan in Super Friends, so it’s about time he made it to the major leagues in both comics and toys. The figure doesn’t come with any accessories, but he does sport his yellow and black domino mask. Here’s hoping for a both a retro version of BL with huge collar and Afro wig (yup, it was a wig) and also a full set of the classic Outsiders from Batman and the Outsiders.

ERADICATOR

Another favorite from my childhood, Eradicator has a long and complicated history that I don’t want to get into, but he did play a huge part in my first crossover (and the even that got me into reading comics) The Reign of the Supermen. This figure takes it’s cues from that series with the body suit, shield-cape and visor. I must admit that I’m a little disappointed in the visor though, as it looked translucent in the press photos and turned out to be completely opaque.

THE RIDDLER

Sure he looks like the guy in those infomercials yelling at you about getting money from the government, and sure, I’m not the first (or 20th) person to make that joke, but that doesn’t mean the Riddler isn’t a cool character. Just look at what Paul Dini’s done with him in Detective Comics. This figure seems based more on the classic look though as he seems somewhat cartoony. In general I like the figure, but the jacket, which is actually a separate piece of plastic stretched/attached to the figure itself sits kind of funny and makes the Riddler look a little out of proportion. I think I would have preferred a sculpted jacket. He also comes with a question mark cane of a particularly plasticy nature.

AMAZO

We didn’t get Amazo in house, but the figure looks pretty faithful to the body-sock wearing version of the JLA’s android, power-stealing foe.

METALLO

Holy socks, meet my new favorite build-a-figure. And that’s saying a lot considering he’s missing a leg. While the rest of the series feels like redecos and repaints, this figure is completely unique. He even looks like he was originally pieced together with metal scarp and then they made a plastic mold out of that. There’s some really creative articulation on this metallic body. But, my favorite part is the removable “M” chestplate that reveals some hunks of Kryptonite underneath, just waiting to give Superman a bad time. I would seriously consider braving the aisles of Wal-Mart to buy this entire wave JUST to put this build-a-figure together.

Whew, okay, I’m done, feel free to head on over to the message boards and discuss.

Rejected Big Shots: Week 7!

Justin here! Now that Big Shots are back in the magazine, I’m going to be posting a new “new” Big Shot photo every week and running down some of the rejected (but still funny) captions our writers cooked up for them. This week we’ve got another Big Shot from the very second issue featuring our new Big Shots, issue # 135, on sale now in comic shops AND on newsstands!

NECRO COP: Disco ain’t dead!
SHRIEK: Well, technically…

NECRO COP: So, what’s it like to be dead, sweet thing?
SHRIEK: Wait a sec and my foot will ask your crotch.

SHRIEK: Nope, she’s still not looking.
NECRO COP: She (pant)…better! My joint is jumping as hard as it can!

NECRO COP: (music notes) Stayin’ aliiiiiiiive! (music notes)
SHRIEK: Honey, this club has been closed for thirty years. The music’s all in your head.
NECRO COP #2: SO WHAT IF IT IS!

Manly Movie Mamajamas: the origin of The Rambo Connection

If you picked up ToyFare #135 (on sale now!), you’ve already experienced the conclusion to our epic three-part storyline “The Rambo Connection,” featuring “the Manly Men of Action” (Stallone, Arnold, et al) in their incredibly violent struggle against OTHER manly movie action stars (Seagal, Keanu, et al) to save still OTHER manly movie action stars (Gerard Butler, Daniel Craig, et al).

It’s not our usual cast of Megos and/or ’80s toys, so you might be wondering how it came about. I had been planning to write a post about the secret origins of the strip, but luckily TTT contributing writer and excellent blogger Sean T. Collins already did, so I don’t have to!

It’s called the Manly Movie Mamajama. As Sean explains, the idea is that a bunch of men (and, us being by and large comic geeks and non-sports participants, the “manly” tag is definitely tongue-in-cheek) get together and endure a marathon of three somehow related, testosterone-soaked movies. And crack wise during them incessantly.

As someone who really didn’t watch a lot of these kinds of films when I was a kid, the whole enterprise has been particularly enlightening to me (as I recall, the entire first line-up of The Warriors, Road House and the Road Warrior was at least partially chosen because they were three films I’d never seen). In fact, since a large percentage of our TTT writing crew attends these fests, Manly Men of Action have been very much on our minds lately. And that’s a large part of how we came up with the idea of the Rambo Connection.

I highly recommend trying Manly Movie Mamajamas at home with your own friends. If you do, come to the Wizard Universe Message Boards and let us know what movie combinations YOU come up with!

Big Shots: Week 13

Welcome to our thirteenth installment of classic Big Shots from ToyFare Magazine’s past. Got a particular fondly remembered Big Shot you’d like to see here? Let us know on the Wizard Universe Message Board. Also, take note that some of the fonts were lost in the translation from the older issues, so they don’t look exactly like they did in the mag, but they’re still hilarious if we do say so ourselves.

Twisted ToyFare Theatre: Behind the Scenes Week 7

Justin here. We’re currently working on Twisted ToyFare #137 (on sale in November!), which marks my 75th full length TTT strip, in addition to however many 2-page special strips we’ve done for Wizard, etc. As a result, every once in a while there’s a strip that I totally forget existed.

Such a strip is this two-page Iron Man strip we did for a Wizard Movie Special issue earlier this year. I came across the storyboards when I was searching for some to post online, and my first reaction was “Ohhh yeaaaah. THAT one.”

As I said, every once in a while Wizard will ask us to put together a small 2-page strip for one of their special issues. The mission for this one was to do something Iron Man related, and we decided we didn’t want to necessarily do our typical “Iron Man is a drunk” shtick for an audience that isn’t used to our kind of humor and might not get the context. So I believe it was Zach who came up with the idea of having Iron Man show off some of his different and unique armors (these are also Zach-drawn storyboards).

As you can see, it ended up as a fun little goof. The SNL D**k in a Box joke might date it a bit, but I particularly like Rhodey’s use of the War Machine armor (see the script), and the AMAZING TWIST ENDING!

Here are the storyboards, and I’ll paste my original script (which might have ended up being slightly different in publication) after the image.

TWISTED TOYFARE THEATRE: WIZARD MOVIE SPECIAL

TWISTED TOYFARE THEATRE PRESENTS
THE MANY ARMORS OF IRON MAN (Suggest titles)
By: The usual

PAGE 1

Panel 1
IRON MAN WORD: Oh, hello…I’m Iron Man.
IRON MAN WORD #2: Over the years I’ve invented and worn a number of different armors, some for very specific purposes.
IRON MAN WORD #3: Let’s take a look, shall we?

Panel 2
CAPTION AT TOP: Classic Armor–it ran on ‘D’ batteries and had a kick-ass AM radio. I added FM in 1971.
IRON MAN WORD: Man, I hate rocks.

Panel 3
CAPTION AT TOP: War Machine–my most deadly armor ever. I loaned it to one of my buddies. I should probably check to see what he’s doing with it.
WAR MACHINE WORD: No reselling tickets within 200 feet of the venue!
SFX: Budda budda budda budda!

Panel 4
CAPTION AT TOP: Hulk Buster Armor–Hulk wasn’t even a bad guy when I built this. I just wanted to mess with him.
IRON MAN WORD: Say it.
IRON MAN WORD #2: Say it!
HULK WORD: Sigh.
HULK WORD #2: Hulk busted.
SFX BY HULK’S HEAD: Noogie noogie noogie

Panel 5
CAPTION AT TOP: Ghost Buster Armor–I had to stop using this one for legal reasons.
IRON MAN WORD: Back off, man…I’m a scientist!

PAGE 2

Panel 1
CAPTION AT TOP: Lobbyist armor–the only armor capable of hauling the huge sacks of money needed to get legislation passed.
IRON MAN WORD: Hello, superhero registration act!
IRON MAN WORD #2: Let’s try to see Tigra hide her phone number from me NOW!

Panel 2
CAPTION AT TOP: Saturday Night Live Armor–Perfect for hosting and making sure I don’t get upstaged by that damn Samberg.
IRON MAN WORD: Uh…didn’t you guys already do this sketch?
SAMBERG WORD: Please…it’s all we’ve got!

Panel 3
CAPTION AT TOP: Online Gaming Armor–it’s got a built-in headset and a hidden reserve of Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel!
IRON MAN WORD: Hey, Boomstick27…you suck!
TV WORD: (electronic balloon) Killtacular!

Panel 4
CAPTION AT TOP: Black Sabbath Armor–For when I need to fill in for Ozzy onstage.
IRON MAN WORD: I…AM…IRON MAN!
IRON MAN WORD #2: Quite literally!

Panel 5
IRON MAN WORD: And there are hundreds and hundreds more, like my–
SFX: KLIK

Panel 6
IRON MAN WORD: And that was my remote controlled ‘telling-people-about-my-different-armors’ armor.
IRON MAN WORD #2: See you at the movies!

END

TEXT AT BOTTOM: Read Twisted ToyFare Theatre every month in ToyFare Magazine!

Toying Around with the Simpsons

The fine folks at Kidrobot sent us a full set of their vinyl mini figures based on The Simpsons. The series consists of 24 3-inch figures with neck and arm articulation, most of which come with an accessory specific to their character and a sticker of the character in the Kidrobot-style. They’re available in the Kidrobot stores or on their website where you can buy them for $7.95 a piece, but be warned, they’re blind-boxed so you don’t really know what you’re getting unless you buy a full set which will run you $181.20. There are 21 regular figures and 3 chase figures.

Here’s the full list of regular figures: Bart, Lisa, Homer, Maggie, Marge, Bumblebee Man, Itchy, Scratchy, Krusty, Sideshow Bob, Mr. Teeny, Fat Tony, Smithers, Mr. Burns, Comic Book Guy, Barney, Apu, Hippy Homer with Hair, Lucius Sweet, Duffman and Chief Wiggum. Flanders as the Devil, Snake and Funzo are the mystery chase figures (or were mysteries, until I just told you).

Whew, I think that covers all the basics, so let’s get into the review. This is a great set, but it’s not perfect. But first, the good. Man, what a fan-freakin-tastic selection of figures. You, of course, get the main Simpson family along with 19 of their friends, neighbors and enemies. And kudos for not just going for the obvious choices like Grandpa Simpson Patty or Selma and throwing in some really out there characters like Funzo, Mr. Teeny and Duffman (my personal favorite).

Being 3-inch figures you can’t necessarily pose the figures any way you want, but the accessories really ad a whole new level of awesomeness to the figures and give them something to do with their cartoony selves. Barney’s got a beer mug, Lucius has boxing gloves, Duffman has a beer utility belt and Fat Tony’s rocking not only a gun with a silencer but also a set of brass knuckles with three finger holes! Plus way way more.

When all together, these figures look sweet and really make you want to get the full set to really show off the full breadth of the Simpsons universe. Kid Robot could probably put out a few sets a year and not run out for a decade, especially including different versions of the characters (Sunday Best Bart? Poochie? Why not?!). I really like the sense of posibilty that comes with the set. Just imagine if they were able to do some of the celebrities who’ve shown up on the Simpsons like most of the Beatles and former presidents Gerald Ford and George H.W. Bush.

Okay, now, I’ve got to mention what doesn’t make this a perfect set. First off, the figures of the actual Simpsons figures don’t look so great (see above). As we were opening the little boxes in the office, we were geeking out over the style of each secondary character as Kidrobot really put a new style onto these famous characters. But then we got to Bart, Homer, Lisa, Marge and Maggie and they look a little bit off, almost like they weren’t sure which way they wanted to go with the style of these primary figures. My other complaint, and this is definitely a personal thing, is that I don’t like buying blind box figures. When I buy a figure I want to know exactly what I’m buying. But, hey, that’s just me.

All in all, though, like I said, it’s a great series and if you’re a Simpsons fan with some extra cash, try your luck and grab a few blind box figures or save up all your pennies and buy the full set. They’ll look great and fit really well on your book or DVD shelf.

–TJ

Rejected Big Shots: Week 6!

Justin here! Now that Big Shots are back in the magazine, I’m going to be posting a new “new” Big Shot photo every week and running down some of the rejected (but still funny) captions our writers cooked up for them. This week we’ve got another Big Shot from the very second issue featuring our new Big Shots, issue # 135, on sale now in comic shops! (You’ll notice that when we sent this out to our writers we hadn’t figured out the name of the Power Rangers monster yet, and were referring to it as “Chicken Thing.”

CHICKEN THING: Hey man, which one of us was the flagship character of a major comics franchise in the ’90s?
WOVLERINE: RRRRRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
CHICKEN THING: …Okay, I’ll give you three guesses.

CHICKEN THING: Keep on CLUCKIN, MotherCLUCKERS! Haw, haw, haw, BA-KAW!
WOLVERINE: Pun monster! Everybody shag ass!

CHICKEN THING: Behold…the KFC Famous Bowl, come to life!
WOLVERINE: Aieee! I’ll never play God again!

Chicken Thing: So…you’ll call me, right?
Wolverine #1: Sure!
Wolverine Thought: When will I learn the dangers of Jagermeister?

Big Shots: Week 12

Welcome to our twelfth installment of classic Big Shots from ToyFare Magazine’s past. Got a particular fondly remembered Big Shot you’d like to see here? Let us know on the Wizard Universe Message Board.

Rejected Big Shots: Week 5!

Justin here! Now that Big Shots are back in the magazine, I’m going to be posting a new “new” Big Shot photo every week and running down some of the rejected (but still funny) captions our writers cooked up for them. This week we’ve got the very first Big Shot from the very second issue featuring our new Big Shots, issue # 135, on sale today in comic shops!

Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies, Exclusive Toy Products) and Bunny Suit Ralphie (A Christmas Story, NECA)

JED: No, son, I’LL shoot your eye out.
RALPHIE: Oh, fudge!

JED: You better bleed oil, boy.
RALPHIE: I shoulda brought my Red Rider.

JED: Rabbit season!
RALPHIE: Redneck season!

Ralphie: Oh, boy! Winter’s over and I can start my new acting career as an adult!
Jed: Yeah, your agent called. You’re gonna want this.